Internal Struggles; a call to growth.

I try my absolute hardest to keep my internal struggles to myself, but I am human, I am going to crumble, fall, and make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect and need not to show the imperfect side of them. The most beautiful thing anyone can do is to show all sides as to who they are. And this is my side, I do not want to look at myself at the moment as this bride who's living through rose gold glass. Sometimes, life gets difficult and we feel as though we are losing a part of who we are as time goes on. We feel as though our youthful years have slipped us by and we hold onto this hard bitterness that makes us look older than what we truly are.

With two dogs, a traveling fiance, and a slight demand on my dream job, my current job is the only thing that is alleviating a portion of the stress that I give myself on a day-to-day basis (but of course I can stress myself out at this job too). I have come to realize it is your mindset, and controlling my mind has been something I have been trying to calm down since I turned twenty-three.

Back in the year twenty-thirteen my Aunt took me to my very first yoga class. It was the worst experience of my life. My mind raced, I was going through a post-traumatic stage in my life, I wanted to run away from anywhere that felt unfamiliar, and all I wanted to do was to lay in my bed and watch TV. I felt safe there, but my Dad forced me to go with her and immediately I regretted it. Keeping my mind calm during the session drove me mad, I couldn't focus on calming down. My fight or flight mode kept going off like a false alarm which didn't help with this serene experience. I felt exhausted and slightly defeated. I enjoyed the company there afterwards, but little did I know that with each tiny moment of going outside started my process of healing.

My Aunt Nicole moved to Colorado in the following months and gifted me with yoga classes to take on my own. I had no choice but to go, but this time on my own. I immediately regretted not enjoying the first class with the company. I knew this was a personal effort on my part, but I had to take the first step. So, on a Saturday morning I went to my first class alone, and I loved it. I focused on staying present and living in the moment and to really allow myself to breathe. My anxiety lessened in the months to follow, and that tiny false alarm in my mind silenced itself.

Yoga truly is the key to healing, and with so many things going on in my life I need to get back to my practice. Each day is a new stepping stone to learning how to function in this world. I have so many dreams, and so does Justin. Together I believe that practicing yoga together will be that gateway into learning so much more about each other that words cannot describe, only with what can be felt with emotions. ~ *

"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." ~ Peace Pilgrim

-This is me, and this is my journey into finding peace within myself-

Optimism, Blessings & Weddings

To say you are going to do something and never get around to it, I would assume it to be some sort of failure. However, when life takes a hold of you, especially during adulthood, we cannot always fulfill our youthful promises. This time I will try to blog more often, especially over the next ten months! I am so excited about life, and to be at this point, to think that way is truly a wonderful blessing from the universe. For the past couple of days I was feeling pretty run down, but I kept my optimism and refused to look at the bad side of things. Some say this comes with age, but it actually comes with practice. If we set our intentions, good intentions before us with each new day then we will receive an abundance of blessings.

* * *

I am getting married. I am getting married? I am getting married! It is pretty surreal and unbelievable at times but I am getting married to my best friend. I cannot believe that my life is changing in the most beautiful ways. I went to my very first bridal show on Sunday and was overwhelmed by the amount of vendors, information, and smiles I came across. Half the time when asked who is the bride, I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth. This truly will be the most amazing adventure I will be documenting on. I am excited to share with you each moment, each step, and each tip along the way. But best of all I am excited to document my wedding experience. It may be ten months away, but time is ticking and it starts now!

Oh Summer, I Bid You Adieu

Oh, what is a summer anymore these days once you've entered into adulthood? College is over and soon mistakes are more frowned upon than ever. During this time we tend to reminisce on our youth and how we were once young, wild, and free. We vowed to never become the adult we have now become and we feel stuck, as though there is no way to reverse the life we now live. There is always time for change. Always a time to renew and to reverse our doings and make them into what we always imagined it to be. Taking the first initial steps are the hardest, but once we take them and finally make the leap of faith we always were once fearless to make then we live a life we love. When we were born we were born with no rules, we were born free. It is society that chains us and says, "welcome to the rest of your life, you must abide by these rules, act this way, go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids, get old, and..." Why? It is amusing to me to ask this particular question as to 'why?' because I am living that mold in one way or another. Although I live this life to please others I have grown to understand that at any moment I can change it. I do not worry about bills, I do not worry about my job, all I know is that if I am truly happy then everything will work out on its own. Time and time again it has been proven. With this summer coming to a close it started with everything I could have ever imagined. I got engaged, I lived blissfully, but once I started to work I became run down. I love teaching but there are limits to every human being. This job has taught me so much about patience, and understanding. Kids will be kids, and there are times where you think raising your voice will stop them from being kids. That isn't the case, I am pretty excited of what is to come, and these acquired life skills will help me in the near future. 

Every blog post I make I still repeat myself. Live Your Dream. Live Your Dream. Live Your Dream. And yet, I am the one being submissive, allowing myself to torture myself with things that do not bring me much joy. I have lived a quarter of my life already and time is still ticking. Not a moment should be wasted on what does not bring any joy, I just want to run and be free. I want to explore mountains, and see snow for the first time. I want to see the world and capture it all with my camera. 

May I find the courage to believe in myself and to have many summers to myself where I can explore and grow. And may I find the courage to save up enough money to do all of the things I would love to do! :-)

xo,

Dom