Winds of Change

Every summer it seems to be the same! The winds change, and so does my mind about my career choice. This is absolutely normal to me, and to some it would seem quite frightening that I change from job to job. Why do I do this? I do this because I clearly haven't found what I love to do. I understand that all jobs suck and that we must "stick it out" but why? We only live on this Earth for so long, why must I spend eight hours of my day doing something I just do not find joy in?

Ever since I was eighteen I longed to become a photographer and open my own business. I wanted to make art for the rest of my life... and then I went through college. College wasn't really something for me, but I did it anyway because I knew it was important to have a degree as a back-up. After graduating I now understand how important it is to have a job, and a steady flow of income; especially since I am in the midst of planning my own wedding. 

How will I ever live my dreams while I am in need of a steady income? Well, I feel fortunate enough to have a fiance who supports and understands my own needs. We are complete opposites when it comes to the workforce. He is career oriented and goal driven. I am not saying I am not neither of these things, the difference would be that I am driven, but I am driven with fairytales in my head, and pixie dust at my feet. Clearly this is why I am marrying him, since he keeps me grounded. 

I have so many ideas of becoming an illustrator and creating beautiful cute pieces of art and selling them (my big time dream). My dream of becoming a photographer has seemed to have toned down as I have lost a lot of my confidence with it. With Instagram these days everyone with a camera is a photographer. A lot of people have a good eye for it, and take amazing shots, but that just hinders my own confidence with my work. It is terrible to compare, but there is no way to solve the photographer blues by comparison. Picking my camera back up has helped me with a lot of my own therapy to gaining that inner light back and faith in my abilities to capturing those moments. It's just the shaking off the thought of what is a "good photograph" because all photos are beautiful, it is the way we see the world. 

As I await on a certain phone call, I plan on just putting my plans into action and hope for the absolute best. I know that the bow must be pulled back all the way before launching into greatness.